THIRTY2 . 3TWO.

THIRTY2 . 3TWO.

"And here you are, a brood of sinners,
standing in the place of your fathers and making the LORD even more angry with You.

"If you turn away from following him, he will again leave you in the desert, and you will be the cause of your destruction."

"so here i am being 32 with all the sin living in my world with no heading in life disobeying my allah .

"n allah will leave me alone n let me destroy myself. then??
why am i fell not so sure in my life?? "

"its all writen in his book n all that i choose to do/make r also
writen then what am i suppose to do??"

well.....

I think I have interest in my childhood because when I was a child,
it was the last time I am ever happy. As we getting older, we become more and more unhappy..


We see more and more terrible state of the world, and the terrible things it does to us.. And that we do back to the world..

Our childhood becomes more and more perfect. In itself isn't so.., but the experience of it...

As for the Japanese have this phrase, 'Mono No Aware', which means 'the Sadness of Things', that this life is not as it should be and we know that's the case and so we desperately try and find a time when the world was as we pictured it as a child, full of marvels, mysteries, full of wonder, full of joy and immanence.

I think that one of the most important things about humans and humanity, there, is that we carry within us a belief in redemption, that we can redeem ourselves somehow, and I think, harking back to the innocence of childhood, there's one way that we start to do that.

For myself, when I think back to a girlfriend that I used to go out with, in my 19's of aged or whatever, now I think about her with incredible longing and love and think how perfect it was.


But of course the reality wasn't like that at all, which is why we split up. So we paint the past in a way that appeals to our sense of recovering the paradise that we've lost.

I happen to believe that there is infinite mileage to be obtained from a limited resource
that we have. Take a look at the sky sometime.


How do you describe what you see? It is never the same experience twice. It's a constant, prominent and permanent part of every ones experience.

Yet when we look at it, do we all experience the same thoughts and feelings?
so like the sky that's always change, so that's what life is all about ...i think .